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Monday, June 27, 2011

I deserve some Toll House cookies!

They say it takes 21 days to form a new habit... I'm starting with 30, because I'm a bit of a slow learner.

Last I checked in I was being heavy disciplined regarding my lack of love and service for others. Well, after many apologies and conversations, I've made peace with a particular friend - certainly only by the grace and love of God alone because on my own I write folks off in about 5 minutes. That was day 7!

On to day 8, I was once again feeling pretty good (a full night sleep doesn't hurt either). After church we were attending a BBQ for which I volunteered to bring dessert and salad, easy right?

I tossed a salad, whipped up an additional pasta, then proceeded to cut open the Toll House cookies - that's when the monkey (the sugar monkey) went crazy. He decided to forego the back ride I'd been giving him and started pulling my hair!

Each second that ticked on the timer my craving (and the smell of that chocolate chip goodness) became almost as intense as child birth. I was way past a watering mouth , I was practically crying I wanted a cookie so bad. Why did I think I could cut, bake, smell, and deliver 12 warm cookies? It was 8:30am and I would have sold my child for a bite of a cookie! The worst part about all this was that that stupid monkey (also known as my mind) was telling me that I deserved the cookie!

Deserved it after all I'd done yesterday in obedience, all I'd achieved in the last week, all my victories. You see, that's the problem with me (and all of us really), we can easily justify why we deserve to have something. I'm not saying that all desires are wrong, or should be ignored, what I am saying is that doing what is right (what God commands and expects) doesn't qualify us for an 'treat'. Just like my kids, I complete the task and immediatly turn around and expect the reward. Not with every task do I have my hand out, JUST the ones where I think I've done a really good job - one worth noticing. Thing is God wants the exact opposite of me (of us), He wants me to do 'good deeds' out of love for Him, not for self-serving praise. Imagine that. Christ is so different then me; higher then us all:

Christ rewards me in ways far greater than chocolate ever could
Christ loves me far more then anyone every will
Christ gives me far more strength then I would ever muster up on my own

It's day 9 and I haven't fainted from sugar withdraw!
There's no plaque recongining my efforts, no mass following of my blog, and no definition in my abs (darn it). There's just me. Being humbled and disciplined, learning something new everyday and desperatly missing ice cream.

Oh yeah, those cookies currently sit at the bottom on my trash can. They were under cooked and undeliverable but taunting me WAY TOO MUCH to remain in the kitchen.

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